Taking Flight
I reach out.
As far as my arms will let me.
There is nothing here.
Just me.
Here I find serenity.

The wind whips through my hair...
Between my fingers...
Ruffles my feathers...
It blows against my face.
So fast, so hard...
Almost brings a tear to my eye...
Almost
The warmth of the sun dances across the bridge of my nose onto my cheeks.
They become rosy with delight.
Bringing back sweet memories of my childhood.
Life was so easy then.
So innocent & new.
I had not a care in the world.
No reservations...
No worries...
More importantly...
No Fear!
Alas...
Those days are far too gone.
And once again, I find myself back in this place.
I've been here before.
Much too young when I first took flight.
Yet still I soar.
All my life...
As far back as I can remember.
I have been flying..
A constant search for something true.
Something real.
I've desperately tried so hard to fly high.
As high as I can.
Up.
Through the storm clouds.
Higher.
Out of sight of all my enemies.
So many predators...
But then...
after too long...
I start to descend.
Just enough to get a closer look.
That's when I usually let my curiosity get the best of me.
Not this time!
I have fallen hard from this place before.
I've been shot down, captured, caged, & tortured.
All for someone else's amusement.
Yet somehow...
Each time...
I have still been able to find my way back to freedom.
Freedom.
We long for it.
Freedom.
We fight so hard for it.
We die for this beauty we call freedom.
I have licked my wounds.
I am strong now.
Stronger than ever before.
I am wise now.
Wiser than ever before.
I only take with me that which I need.
My heart, my soul, my knowledge, ... my pride.
I go where the wind blows.
Makes no difference to me.
However, this time it feels quite different than ever before.
The air is much thicker.
Harder to breathe.
I am safe, but oddly enough, it's not the same serenity as I had always found.
It makes me wonder..
. Why do I fly anyway?
Is it truly for freedom?
Or is it simply out of fear?
And whilst I soar...
Am I really just missing out on it all?
In this constant battle within myself.
Searching for a flicker of light in this vast darkness...
An angel amongst the demons.
If nothing else.
I've realized one real thing.
Life is beautiful!
Its meant to be embraced & truly lived!
To the fullest!
I cant do that way up here.
I must fight hard...
Love harder...
Live life through childlike eyes.
No Fear!
Never settling for anything less than what I deserve.
Its so hard though.
In reality I am petrified!
And... I'm safe here.
The view is amazing.
But does that even matter when I'm the only one to see it.
Besides... I am so tired of flying.
My wings ache... No one truly knows how I long to land.
I cant.. No!
I won't let them...
But its all I've ever really wanted.
This time I need to be smart.
I will be smart!
This time I won't just slip and fall.
This time... I, and I alone, chose when I land.
Where I land.
This time... I will not land in a trap.
Only to be put on display as if I were a trophy piece.
I will not land in quicksand!
Where I might sink into the pits of broken promises.
Not even on a rock!
As they are far to cold, hard, and rigid.
This time when I land, it will be on solid ground.
On the plush grass where I can feel it all..
One foot at a time.
In my own personal heaven.
To feel the earth between my toes...
To tuck these wings away...
Once and for all...
To be free...
To be me...
That my friend would be true freedom...
True happiness...
Isn't that in fact, all any of us want.
By Mickie James

I hate it when I get scolded for no reason.
Especially by you,STF.
Im accused for nothing. Wth.
And he just vent his anger at me like that
Just because I didn’t want to waste electricity
For charging nothing.
So much for being a kind soul.
And please I don’t own the computer.
It was because the other account was so slow
That I changed another one.
So behind everything I do,
There would be and will be a reason
For doing so.
So please use your brain to think
And I do not use the com all the time
To talk to my friends
I do have hmk online
That’s why.
Im not like you.
Everyday just using the computer
To play bejeweled blitz
And I have not gone to fb for a long time.
So from now on,
I hope that you will not vent your anger
On us anymore,
We had enough.
Please stop doing this,
At least be considerate for others.
Or might as well just go and die.
190809
Today was another okay day, damn boring luh.
But have lit test tmr
And I haven finish my Chinese tuition hmk!
Xinyi is leaving at 12 tmr for her piano exam. *sobs*
And we have to do the presentation WITHOUT HER.
Oh man…the whole group would be so soft luh.
But at least I tried to finish the clay marble
and math proj.(says it consists of 40% of overall)
dot lesson was the most fun of all,
we learnt like plenty of stuff we didn’t really know
and the ms lim or ms lee was so damn dramatic
that I couldn’t stop laughing.
And den somehow we had a
[HAIRBAND SOCIETYⒸ] WOOH!((:
Just PURE AWESOMENESS!
Hahahah, during malay
After break especially
Yiying and me couldn’t stop laughing.
We were like doing very very random things like…
Oh yeah, her name is PEEKABOO and mine is HULLABALLOO( from animal farm!)
But dunno why she like always so scared of akashah,funny.
We were ever so random man((:
I wished all malay lessons were liddat luh,
Without the guys
Just the few of us walking and havin a whale of time
It would be awesome man…
Oh and we had sharing on Sunday and celebrated
KATHY’S BIRTHDAY!((:
And they were busy imitating
Jasmine doing the monotone YAY.
LOLS, it was so funny!
And I mean I srsly dun have any idea how to share with people.
My mind would be blank and I stutter….whoops!

Anw I love this two songs((:

Through it all
You are forever in my life
You see me through the seasons
Cover me with Your hand
And lead me in Your righteousness
And I look to You
And I wait on You
I will sing to You, Lord
A hymn of love
For Your faithfulness to me
Im carried in everlasting arms
Youll never let me go
Through it all
Hallelujah, hallelujah

Jesus, lover of my soul
Jesus, Lover of my soul,
Jesus, I will never let you go
You’ve taken me from the miry clay
You've set my feet upon the Rock, and now i know
I love you, I need you,
Though my world may fall, Ill never let you go
My Saviour, my closest friend,
I will worship you until the very end

040809
Went to see the doc yesterday.
Loads of people were there
And I had to wait for like two and a half hours
Just to see the doc
And I realized this doctor didn’t know how to use the com.
LOLS and he had this very strong bangla slang
That I couldn’t really comprehend what he was talking abt
But all I could understand
is “ I’ll be giving you one week mc .”
haiya, means I have to stay at home during the ndp hols too.
And I have to miss band, sadly.
But at least now I don’t have fever anymore((:
And yay for ndp preview((:
It was totally awesome esp the fast forward part
And I got a light green bag((:
The combined choir this year damn slack luh
So unfair!
But everyone did an awesome job!((:
Especially Valerie, robin, that mayflower girl(:, akashah and that siang hee person( heard you were dancing(: )
Awesome awesomeness((:
030809(:
I was like dying throughout the whole day luh.
My temp kept on rising and falling like tsunami wave.
Den I kept on coughing till clara said my mask turned yellow. Ew. Felt like a zombie.
Den went for third lang, my temp increased again.
What’s wrong with me?!
But lesson was fun((:
Thanks to cheecheongfun who had to repeat everthing single thing that cikgu said ((:
Took bus with congying and nasrul
saw Kimberly (:
And the bus was freakin crowded.
When I finally reached home,
Mummy bought sushi and cup corn( my fave but ahgong’s one still better((: )
But didn’t really had any appetite.

190709 mylove; BANDFIESTA((:

im so into hillsongs kids.
JESUS YOUR MY SUPERHERO!((:
its..
SUPER.
UBER.
DUPER.
ZUPER.
TUPER.
WUPER.
QUPER.
YUPER.
KUPER.
LUPER.
FUPER.
SUPER.
BUPER.
NUPER.
MUPER.
VUPER.
CUPER.
AWESOME.
COOL.
LOVELY.
DOVEY .
CUTE SONG!!!(:
love it man.
so happy that im ushering next week((: with yiling, tek tin, jason and joshua.
seems like yiling and me would be the only two girls((:
its YOUTH MONTH!
so basically anything and almost everything is controlled by the youth(:
the theme for this year is,
'highly favoured'(:
and its at MY AWESOME CHURCH!((: [10 am]
12 july, 'I AM THE WAY' [zheng qin]
19 july, 'I AM THE TRUTH' [agnes]
26 july, 'I AM THE LIFE' [yvonne]
so happy that im ushering cuz i usually don't or can't participate in any of the youth things :( but now YAY!((:
and thanks loads to sarah ong for lending me her forty days fast for the past few days((:
life's been wonderfully awesome and just yesterday i've been watching the some scariest places on earth i think
den this i-totally-have-no-idea-who-is-she the person said that fear is the absence of faith, which i think is totally true and i also received this mail...
A psychologist once said: "Even if there is no God, men will invent one." :)On Mar 9, 2008, at 12:41 PM, gadgetman wrote:
Hey guys.
I hope you are not turned off by the extremely long email list, but I really think this message is very intriguing.
By all means, delete it if you find it rubbish, but I normally don't send mass emails.
This one is really interesting.
Hopefully, it doesn't end up in your junkmail, eh?
I hope this touches you as much as it did me, or least gives you something to think about as we go about 2009.
Enjoy.
'Let me explain theproblem science has with Jesus Christ.'
The atheist professor of philosophy pauses before his class and then asks one of his new students to stand.
'You're a Christian, aren't you, son?'
'Yes sir,' the student says.
'So you believe in God?'
'Absolutely.' 'Is God good?'
'Sure! God's good.'
'Is God all-powerful? Can God do anything?'
'Yes.'
'Are you good or evil?'
'The Bible says I'm evil.'
The professor grins knowingly
. 'Aha! The Bible!'
He considers for a moment.
'Here's one for you.
Let's say there's a sick person over here and you can cure him.
You can do it.
'Would you help him? Would you try?'
'Yes sir, I would.'
'So you're good...!'
'I wouldn't say that.'
'But why not say that?
You'd help a sick and maimed person if you could.
Most of us would if we could. But God doesn't.'
The student does not answer, so the professor continues.
'He doesn't, does he?
My brother was a Christian who died of cancer, even though he prayed to Jesus to heal him
How is this Jesus good?
Hmmm?
Can you answer that one?'
The student remains silent.
'No, you can't, can you?' the professor says.
He takes a sip of water from a glass on his desk to give the student time to relax.
'Let's start again, young fella. Is God good?'
'Er...yes,' the student says.
'Is Satan good?'
The student doesn't hesitate on this one.
'No.' 'Then where does Satan come from?'
The student : 'From...God..'
'That's right. God made Satan, didn't he? Tell me, son. Is there evil in this world?'
'Yes, sir.'
'Evil's everywhere, isn't it?
And God did make everything, correct?'
'Yes.'
'So who created evil?'
The professor continued,
'If God created everything,
then God created evil, since evil exists,
and according to the principle that our works define who we are,
then God is evil.'
Without allowing the student to answer,
the professor continues:
'Is there sickness?
Immorality?
Hatred?
Ugliness?
All these terrible things, do they exist in this world?'
The student: 'Yes.'
'So who created them?'
The student does not answer again, so the professor repeats his question.
'Who created them?
There is still no answer.
Suddenly the lecturer breaks away to pace in front of the classroom.
The class is mesmerized.
'Tell me,' he continues onto another student.
'Do you believe in Jesus Christ, son?'
The student's voice is confident: 'Yes, professor, I do.'
The old man stops pacing.
'Science says you have five senses you use to identify and observe the world around you.
Have you ever seen Jesus?'
'No sir. I've never seen Him.'
'Then tell us if you've ever heard your Jesus?'
'No, sir, I have not.'
'Have you ever actually felt your Jesus, tasted your Jesus or smelled your Jesus?
Have you ever had any sensory perception of Jesus Christ, or God for that matter?'
'No, sir, I'm afraid I haven't.'
'Yet you still believe in him?'
'Yes.'
'According to the rules of empirical, testable, demonstrable protocol,
science says your God doesn't exist.
What do you say to that, son?
' 'Nothing,' the student replies.
'I only have my faith.'
'Yes, faith,' the professor repeats.
'And that is the problem science has with God.
There is no evidence, only faith.'
The student stands quietly for a moment, before asking a question of his own.
'Professor, is there such a thing as heat?'
'Yes,' the professor replies. 'There's heat.'
'And is there such a thing as cold?'
'Yes, son, there's cold too.'
'No sir, there isn't.'
The professor turns to face the student, obviously interested.
The room suddenly becomes very quiet.
The student begins to explain.
'You can have lots of heat,
even more heat, super-heat, mega-heat, unlimited heat, white heat, a little heat or no heat,
but we don't have anything called 'cold'.
We can hit up to 458 degrees below zero, which is no heat, but we can't go any further after that.
There is no such thing as cold; otherwise we would be able to go colder than the lowest-458 degrees.
Every body or object is susceptible to study when it has or transmits energy, and heat is what makes a body or matter have or transmit energy.
Absolute zero (-458 F) is the total absence of heat. You see, sir, cold is only a word we use to describe the absence of heat.
We cannot measure cold. Heat we can measure in thermal units because heat is energy. Cold is not the opposite of heat, sir, just the absence of it.'
Silence across the room.
A pen drops somewhere in the classroom, sounding like a hammer.
'What about darkness, professor. Is there such a thing as darkness?'
'Yes,' the professor replies without hesitation.
'What is night if it isn't darkness?'
'You're wrong again, sir. Darkness is not something; it is the absence of something.
You can have low light, normal light, bright light, flashing light, but if you have no light constantly you have nothing and it's called darkness, isn't it?
That's the meaning we use to define the word.
In reality, darkness isn't.
If it were, you would be able to make darkness darker, wouldn't you?'
The professor begins to smile at the student in front of him.
This will be a good semester.
'So what point are you making, young man?'
'Yes, professor. My point is, your philosophical premise is flawed to start with, and so your conclusion must also be flawed.'
The professor's face cannot hide his surprise this time.
'Flawed? Can you explain how?'
'You are working on the premise of duality,' the student explains.
'You argue that there is life and then there's death; a good God and a bad God.
You are viewing the concept of God as something finite, something we can measure.
Sir, science can't even explain a thought.
It uses electricity and magnetism, but has never seen, much less fully understood either one.
To view death as the opposite of life is to be ignorant of the fact that death cannot exist as a substantive thing.
Death is not the opposite of life, just the absence of it.'
'Now tell me, professor.
Do you teach your students that they evolved from a monkey?'
'If you are referring to the natural evolutionary process, young man, yes, of course I do.'
'Have you ever observed evolution with your own eyes, sir?'
The professor begins to shake his head, still smiling, as he realizes where the argument is going. A very good semester, indeed.
'Since no one has ever observed the process of evolution at work and cannot even prove that this process is an on-going endeavour,
are you not teaching your opinion, sir?
Are you now not a scientist, but a preacher?'
The class is in uproar.
The student remains silent until the commotion has subsided.
'To continue the point you were making earlier to the other student, let me give you an example of what I mean.'
The student looks around the room.
'Is there anyone in the class who has ever seen the professor's brain?'
The class breaks out into laughter.
'Is there anyone here who has ever heard the professor's brain, felt theprofessor's brain, touched or smelled the professor's brain?
No one appears to have done so.
So, according to the established rules of empirical, stable, demonstrable protocol, science says that you have no brain, with all due respect, sir.
So if science says you have no brain, how can we trust your lectures, sir?'
Now the room is silent.
The professor just stares at the student, his face unreadable.
Finally, after what seems an eternity,the old man answers.
'I guess you'll have to take them on faith.'
'Now, you accept that there is faith, and, in fact, faith exists with life,' the student continues. 'Now, sir, is there such a thing as evil?'
Now uncertain, the professor responds, 'Of course, there is. We see it everyday. It is in the daily example of man's inhumanity to man. It is in the multitude of crime and violence everywhere in the world. These manifestations are nothing else but evil.'
To this the student replied, 'Evil does not exist sir, or at least it does not exist unto itself. Evil is simply the absence of God. It is just like darkness and cold, a word that man has created to describe the absence of God. God did not create evil. Evil is the result of what happens when man does not have God's love present in his heart. It's like the cold that comes when there is no heat or the darkness that comes when there is no light.' The professor sat down.
WELOVEJESUS;D

its been so long since i last blogged.
ahahaha, didnt know peeps do read my blog.
its so dead.wtv.
so life's been real busy
with band tuition and hmk
band's fun sometimes
love those songs man.
ILOVE singing BABAblack sheep to abigail(:
ahahahah.so funny(:
idk why WHY WHY ms chong loves to sit near me
just gives me the creeps man.
SO SCARY.
the instant concert song rocks
we need to play clap and UNH. lols. its so cute((:
there's this new and weird machine at school(saw it at st.andrew's sec before)
damn fun to play lurh.
we were like retards playing those(:
tuition's interesting too.
since now i know that jordy guy also goes there.
my tuition teacher is one of the most awesome ones i have seen((:
but too bad. he hates my school's uniform. DOTDOT!(:
and always call me,"st.mag's understand or not?"
LOLS. love tuition manz...
but i think i became smarter!((:
and im so looking forward to watching the anglican schools concert thingy
cuz SO MANY people gonna be there(:
and YAY!we're gonna have a chinese dance performance soon!
finally all three of us can perform together.
i missed shuxin loads but she's changed a lot since she's been back.
but i still love her all the same((:
shuxin still as flexible as before(:
went to bernad's house few days before.
I LOVE HER CONDO man. so freakin big lurh
somemore got three swimming pools den clara lives near her too.
got den tried and done the math project den
saw her sis playing com like mad.
den had FRIED RICE(iloveherahmah!(:)
den xinyi me and her (damini left early)
just playplayplay the nitendodslite COOKING MAMA!
and the psp.
COOL LUH!
and her ahmah like so cool one so fun so modern((:
and she has three coms man.
what's up with the rich people!!!
gah,so jealous.
oh man...natata not coming to school for the first whole week.
life's gonna suck without her.
but luckily got damimi stories((:
her uncle damn funny lurh(:
ahh...school's starting and all the h1n1 nonsense.
like omg, everyone that stupid to think that the channelnewsasia thingy
would extend our hols.
its just a POLL.
but you see if we had extended holidays means that most of the singapore population will be affected already and goes shows that we're dying soon(: LOLS,jkjk.
haiya damn sad lurh
every saturday got band practice den cannot go for church.
but cant blame them, i WANTED to join band.
i dunno why but the mr bob chew guy said those stuff and they make so much sense. he said," you WANT to come here, not you NEED to come here." its ur choice or something den talked abt baseball players and i still the yankees rocks. but training and practice still needs to take place den we will play better or something liddat. even he looks a bit gong(no offence) but he say the things sometimes make a lot of sense lurh.
i used to dread to go to band practices cuz its like i NEED to go there den i'll get scoldings den just playplayplay like crap.but now its like what for dread it? just go there play well have fun(:
oh yeah and i praypraypray so hard that my pastor would be cured from the EVIL colon cancer. its sounds so bad and so painful for him,HANG IN THERE!((: and ALYSSA'S BACK! she's doesnt look any difference but she's changed after so many years lurh. everyone's back from church camp den eleanor says she fell off her horse twice. and hurt her lips and chin. poor thing! and lydia fell in to the drain... gosh. get better!(:
band,anglican concert tmr((:
tata! truckloads of love(:

WAHAHA!!!!
i must be mad.
i just deleted all my posts.
how amazing!
so THIS is my FIRST POST!
heehee!
i very long nvr do bloggin already...so long.cuz now its like going to have mid-years.and i study.im so GUAI! lols...but i did work harder.i bought assessments to do. i realised this year i tried to work harder.woots~! but teehee i still slack a lot.but now its like S.O.S!its everyday i come home so tired and dead.den somehow someone or my buds will cheer me up and make the whole dead day BRIGHTER! hahah! thanks truckloads guys!(: oh yah.this year's SYF was GOOOODDDD...band got a GOLD! den mordern dance get silver.(they were pretty sad cuz they were aiming for gold with honours..)indian dance got SUSTAINED silver! malay dance i think silver also.choir also silver.chinese dance and strings haven yet.i think our school standard dropped. we used to get gold for all the performing arts.but nehmind...we work harder for NEXT NEXT YEAR!(: wahaha...im so happy that cca is suspended.FINALLY.woots!
-seating plan-
i dun like the way ms yati change the seats lo. its like so wad luh. its good that we join our tables cuz the air is like fresher now(: BUT now everyone around me like MOVED.szelin sits right at the back now den joan sits beside me and deesha.fangling sits behind me.sonya sits on my right den izzie sits behind her.den its like im in a whole new environment with diff ppl...weird. den now banana sits in my row.clara sits with sokleng. its like so awkward. I WANT THE OLD SEATING ARRANGEMENT! i miss sze lin loads! its so weird not havin her there with her random laughter and mood swings.her askin for timetable always keeps me awake.now like im fallin asleep every now and then.i miss her singing too!heehee! i miss fang lin sittin beside deesha den we three in front talk talk talk...so fun! and sherlyn koh! i miss her weird laughter(: and now i always need to go ask someone else for stapler...i miss VALENCIA sittin behind.now she sits same row as me...its so weird.its like the noise makers fromthe back move to the front den suddenly the class becomes so quiet...haiz.
and today, i realised i CANNOT comfort and encourage people at all.i only laugh randomly.its...i just dunno how to comfort them...actually..have i really comforted someone before but its like most of the time people are comforting me....haiz.

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